Off into the great unknown

We’re playing at Leicester, because it’s our turn.

It’s a Tuesday night and we’re off to Leicester. There’s no good time to go there; whatever day of the week it’ll still be Leicester, a place that defies all logic and reason. Apart from when there’s a match on, has anyone ever met somebody from Leicester? Do they all get hidden away and only let out to go to whatever sponsor’s name their Identikit Flatpack Leisure Arena is called? Never mind, we’re there on Tuesday to add a touch of glamour to the surroundings. They’ll probably call it a derby, which it isn’t, and try to make the ground intimidating, which it never will be.

Leicester used to be crap. then they got lucky and were unfathomably successful for a few years. Now they’re crap again. Gary Lineker started out there on his dad’s market stall and if Ian Bowyer hadn’t been such a twat he wouldn’t have got much further. They haven’t got a manager this week, which is a pity because the one they had last week was doing such a good job taking them back where they belong. Steve Bruce will have had his application in before Ceefax had finished breaking the news.

Marc Albrighton’s still on their books even if has retired from top-level football for the season and Jamie Vardy will no doubt be on the bench to cause all sorts of palpitations when he gets wheeled on for the last few minutes. We’re on form, there are no more injury worries and it’s blue skies all the way from now on.

We’ve not got a very good record against Leicester, for some reason. They inexplicably beat us at Villa Park and that state of affairs has got to be put right, which it will be. We can look forward to continue moving up the league, they can look forward to playing Small Heath next season. What a meeting of minds that will surely be.