Brentford have gone from nondescript lower divisions team to plucky minnows making it into the Premier League by doing all sorts of complicated stuf with scouting and transfers. Nobody understands it so we all nod wisely and make out that it’s something to do with incredible groundbreaking technology. Then when they got into the Premier League the same people who said how well they did to get there want them relegated so we can have another big club with more supporters back in the Greatest League In The World. Rod Stewart was on their books for a time and Rick Wakemen was on their board many years ago. You’ve never heard of Rick Wakeman have you?

They don’t look much like getting relegated so far, mainly because of other clubs’ incompetence rather than anything they’re doing themselves. They’ve spent a few quid of the money we’ve donated to them and with it they bought another load of players they’ll be selling during the summer for a big profit. Why we can’t cut out the middleman is beyond me.

Anyway, we’re playing them the day after New Year’s Day so don’t bother with any resolutions about not drinking or swearing or doing bad stuff. It’s the Villa and all bets are off. What sort of team we put out is another question; no doubt a couple of our players will have got injured watching Jools Holland or been hit by low-flying fireworks at midnight. New Year, Old Villa.