It’s so hard to comprehend how the team can go from average to outstanding in a few days so let’s hope we can keep up Wednesday night’s form in an attempt to regain acceptance into the capital world that is the Champions League.

It’s just as hard to comprehend why anyone has any time for Chelsea. From violence, racism and Ken Bates via Roman Abramovich and Dennis Wise to the current collection of overpaid mercenary chancers they deserve to have their dreams smashed in the end. Meanwhile we’ve got time on our side. Their manager is still delirious that he isn’t working in Smethwick anymore. Spend much time there and you’ll swear you’re never ever gonna work for someone again.

One of the players they’ve got out on loan is undoubtedly making the most of his opportunity to better himself and is just waiting for the right time to show how fearless and brave he is. Another one is Carney Chukwuemeka, and they’ll probably make a profit on him, even though they’re never gonna make him stand in line with the first-team. They’ve also got Omar Kellyman, another whose future’s a clam. They’re typical of players who think they’re a king when they’re really a pawn, unlike our bruised and battered collection of legends-to-be.

As for the rest of their club, what a fake and artificial edifice it is, although most of their gloryhunters will have gone elsewhere by now. The ones remaining are just as bad; they’ll never know the joys of supporting an institution that’s got you in its grip before you’re born.