The football world yesterday paid tribute to Manchester United, greatest club in the Cosmos and moral winners of the Premier League. Their final game of the season turned into a walkover as they stormed their way to a nil-nil draw with the sacrificial lambs of Wimbledon.

This morning, news that both Arsenal and Liverpool won their final games to take the top two places in the league was overshadowed by the magnificent achievement of the Old Trafford giants.

And it has emerged that there is an overwhelming call from the footballing public for an F.A. inquiry after press reports of a sinister conspiracy afoot to prevent the championship trophy from arriving at its rightful destination.

The wonderful Alex Ferguson, who's leadership of the world giants has been an example to all those who look up to the great club, said, "It was becoming apparent during the title run-in that certain of our opponents wanted to beat us. This was, of course, not fair, and we shall be appealing for the awarding of all points lost in this way."

Eric Cantona, whose name we are not even worthy of printing, agreed with his manager. "It was obvious that some opposing supporters were against us from the start" the Gaellic genius, surely the finest footballer of all time, stated. "Almost from the first game of the season some people were calling me a lunatic and saying that I was a useless poet. How could we be expected to win our championship under such circumstances?"

Further, amazing confirmation came from Ryan Giggs, saviour of the planet. "You might find this hard to believe," he sobbed, proving that he is, after all, human, "but there were some games when I could definitely sense that opposing defenders actually wanted to take the ball from me."

Such revelations are bound to rock football, already reeling from one crisis to another after news that two teams previouly unloved by the press were the best in the country. Calls for an inquiry, and an inevitable awarding of their title to United, will be fuelled by reports that they were forced to play 42 league games as well as face opposing sides who took the field with eleven players and three substitutes. Such evidence is only further proof that football is incapable of running it's own affairs and control of the game should be passed to Old Trafford, centre of the universe, immediately.