7th August: Newcastle 0 Villa 1. Well, what a pleasant surprise the start of the season was. Especially when we were under the cosh first half with Mary Poppins getting away with murder again. David James made some top saves and slowly things changed round. Then came the most dramatic news since the relief of Maefeking. Shearer sent off!!!!!!!!!!! JJ scored, they didn't and thanks for the three points. Mark Delaney looks a potential star, Boateng did what he had to do and the rest did their bit. Newcastle look as though, with a bit of luck, they could be relegation candidates and wouldn't that be a shame? £25.50 and it was almost worth it.

8th August: Ruud Gullit claims Shearer shouldn't have been sent off, because well, because he's Alan Shearer.

11th August: Villa 3 Everton 0. Another three points and we're back on top of the league - as though that matters in August. A good performance all round, James didn't have much to do but he did it well. Boateng is a bit of a problem - him and a fully-fit, back to form Ian Taylor are too similar. Three well taken goals and Everton are shite again. One small criticism - did we really have to play five at the back and one up front, at home, to a team who were already beaten? With three midfielders and a defender on the bench we didn't have much choice.

16th August: Villa 2 West Ham 2. Looks like reality came calling a bit earlier this season. When you go a goal up after four minutes you really shoudn't concede one with the next attack, but it happened and it led to some worrying moments. For the rest of the first half West Ham were well on top and we were lucky to be level at half time. Hendrie replaced Boateng and made a difference, but all our pressure only produced one real chance. Which was all Dion needed to get the points, or so it appeared until the 93rd minute. I don't want to criticise two players who regularly give 100%, but belting the ball into Witton Lane was what was required and neither of them did. So it was a point instead of three and it might have knocked a few people back to earth. Other points - James looks good, Delaney is a bargain. Midfield is uninspired; five at the back, well you've got your own ideas about that one. Nigel Rogoff came on the pitch at half time to a well-deserved reception. As did Doug.

18th August: Benito Carbone says he's signing for us. Not so says JG, who should know about these things. Robbie Keane brings another farcical transfer tale to an end by agreeing to join Coventry.

19th August: Doug's "happy with the players we've got" and will be "disappointed if we don't get in the Champions League". John's in a corner, worrying.

20th August: Feyenoord's Julio Cruz becomes by my reckoning the 69th player to be linked with Villa since the end of last season. He is, however, the first 6' 8" Argentinian.

21st August: Chelsea 1 Villa 0 was another object lesson. When we played well, and at times we looked good, they were still in control. When they played well they scored, and we never looked like getting back into the game. They could bring on Ambrosetti and Flo, we brought on Merson and Stone. Which more than anything is the difference between them and us. David James is shaping up to be bargain of the season, Lee Hendrie started for a change and worked his legs off. Ugo was masterful as usual, except for the one unfortunate incident. The rest were as workmanlike as you'd expect but at places like this we need something else. Someone who can score twice on his debut for instance.

24th August: Watford 0 Villa 1. You can't get any better than an away win. Well you could get any sort of win with flair, style, skill even. That's maybe a bit unfair, after all the team battled and came away with three points. The fact remains, though, that for all our possession we only had one real chance and Mark Delaney isn't going to score a goal like that every match. When you've got the entire away support singing at you to play four at the back, isn't it a bit of a subtle hint? We knew at the start of the season that we could beat crap teams. We know the same now. Their manager got a good reception, which was expected. Best song of the night was "You kept the shit from going up". Harsh, but fair.

26th August: Kevin Keegan announces the first England squad of the season. No Joachim, Ugo or James, but a call-up for Stuart Pearce (83). I could say that Stanley Matthews is getting his boots out again, but that would be a tired, far too easy crack to make so I won't.

28th August: Villa 1 Middlesbrough 0. Well, we won again and we're second in the league, so everybody should be happy. Guess again. We're not exactly playing badly, more like one-paced. It seems as though the team are under instructions first of all not to lose and if they can do any better then that's a bonus. They created more chances in this match than they have all season but only scored once, which could be fatal against better opposition. Midfield remains uninventive, Joachim and Dublin still don't seem to be working as a partnership. But we're winning, which is the main thing.

31st August: Been a bit quiet on the news front, but today makes up for it. Stan (remember him?) finds his girlfriend with another bloke so thumps her. Mark Draper says he wants out if he can't get in the first team. John & Doug are having their first public fallout, with Newcastle a very interested onlooker.

1st September: Doug speaks. There is no split. Get it? There. Is. No. Split.

5th September: Stan's about to be sent back from Fulham because he's a bad influence. Now there's something nobody expected. Manchester United reserve goalkeeper Mark Bosnich is available for transfer. Perhaps we can sign him up as cover.

7th September: John says Stan might as well make the most of it at Fulham, 'cos he ain't coming back here. Looks like our only hope of getting good money for him now lies in the prospect of Graeme Souness ever finding gainful employment again.