I am sitting at home having my tea when I spot an item in the Evening Despatch. Aston Villa are to play a practice match at Nuneaton Borough this evening. But what sort of team are we likely to put out? I hurriedly dash to catch a bus to Castle Bromwich station thence a train to Nuneaton, not quite certain where I was to go at the other end. Somehow reaching the ground the answer is, unsurprisingly, a reserve team.

But I am not the only travelling Villa supporter here. Don and Brian with an even better hotline to Villa Park than I did were in on the secret so I have no concern about getting home after what turned out to be a 3-3 draw. But I did not even get to make out a home-made programme as was usual on such occasions, so no scorers.

All thoughts of playing a few local charity cricket matches to spread goodwill and foster team spirit have gone the way of Clarets v Light Blues for fear of injury so instead we risked kicking off with a practice match at second division Southampton. Brian and I arranged to meet Don as he passes through Selly Oak on the route to the south coast. If the intention was to play a confidence-boasting stroll at the Dell it was a bad idea from the start even though Burrows gave us a two goal start (20 & 34). Southampton were in it to win it and ultimately we did not try to stand in their way and capitulated to Paine (45 pen), Chivers (63) and O’Brien (65). It was the foretaste of things to come.

First visitors to Witton were second division champions Leeds United, guided by a master tactician Don Revie who could probably teach our new captain Phil Woosnam a thing or three. 25,502 was barely half the attendance normally expected for a season opener so it was apparent expectations were already at a low ebb. And ninety minutes later they left having seen a sad charade of former days. This despite Woosnam heading in early on (4). Leeds won almost despite themselves. Perhaps they could not believe how easy it was to overcome our overworked defence. Johanneson (15) and Jackie Charlton (60) earning them a win bonus.

Wednesday meant Stamford Bridge and a team that had won three-zip at Wolverhampton on opening day. No problem getting permission to leave work early. My boss is ever keen to hear my first hand account. I get picked up right outside and arrive just in time to be one of the 30,389. MacEwan for Baker. Racing through alongside the greyhound track Tambling outran what amounted to our defence (6). We tried to weave our way through theirs. Fairly successfully as it turns out if hitting the crossbar twice and a post once counted for anything. Then Sidebottom kept us in the game until Bridges exposed our deficiency in dealing with opposition corners (56). Hateley got the better of Hinton (70) shooting past Bonetti but all our subsequent efforts were repulsed.

It would have been nice to have stayed in London for Highbury at the weekend but it was once again the regular sight of overheated cars broken down alongside the M1. One nearly every mile, I kid you not. Arsenal still had the Metropolitan Police Band to welcome us on to the pitch. On a gloriously sunny day the only cloud on the horizon was to manifest itself in the result. Unless Hateley does something exceptional it is always likely to be ‘Aston Villa nil’.

Only 28,832 so we no longer come within the category of ‘attractive visitors’. Arsenal were too strong for us. Armstrong (30) and the unprefaced Strong (59) before Hateley actually did something exceptional (69). But with Woosnam and Wylie schemers both playing the same part, hopes of an equaliser were dispelled by MacLeod (offside surely? 81. )Make a note to buy him next week!

Only 19,757 on a Monday night for the return against Chelsea – three wins so far! Baker for MacEwan otherwise the same eleven again suggesting that there really is nobody else. When Murray (35) and Tambling (51) scored easily you can almost hear the slow handclapping and the foot stamping as I write these notes. The crowd (sic) was already starting to drift towards the exits when with Hateley and Woosnam both starting to limp towards the treatment room the whole atmosphere changed in the blinking of an eye. Or perhaps the failure of a Chelsea defender to intercept Burrows.

The ball reached Hateley who needed no second chance (84). What happened next almost defies description. Some who had already left were seen hastening back up the steps when in a scene of total delirium Wylie back headed a corner in for an unlikely but deserved equaliser. 2-2.

21,678 were still talking about the Monday night miracle when Blackburn Rovers were on the menu. A debut for MacLeod, then our most expensive acquisition. He must have wondered what on earth he had done in leaving Arsenal to join this begotten crew.

Lacking method, guile and spirit Blackburn won with consummate ease. McEvoy (9 & 22), Byron (68) scoring with embarrassing ease as discontent amongst the crowd was universal. Not helped when Ferguson scored a goal for the ages (79). 0-4 at home to Blackburn Rovers. After five games we were bottom of the table with a single point.

Eighteenth-placed Sunderland are next under the Roker Park floodlights. When Crossan finished off a bewildering move (8) which sent 44,099 into a state of delirium things were looking worse than bad. That is until MacLeod did exactly what we had bought him to do and provided goals for Burrows (19) and Hateley (24). Then our defence held firm against a team who were nothing to write home about. That is until with the famous Roker Roar more like the mewing of frustrated kittens Hurley stole a point. The accident on the A1 had been cleared and the homeward journey through the night was a little less fraught.

I had contemplated travelling from Sunderland to Blackpool and staying a few nights at the seaside. Instead arriving back from the north-east at 2.30 am. On Thursday morning I decided instead to take an afternoon train north and put myself in the hands of a seaside landlady. Not as easy as it might sound for a man traveling on his own. Friday sees me travelling the trams to view the illuminations and putting coins into slot machines on the piers. It seemed strange to arrive so early into opposition territory.

22,795, a number doubtless swelled by other weekend visitors possibly curious to see what first division football is all about. Blackpool were one point adrift of leaders Chelsea but did absolutely nothing to suggest that the might become challengers. Apart from scoring the three goals which beat us, of course. Not a task which presented them with a great deal of difficulty even though we actually took the lead. Hateley from a centre by MacLeod (31), Oates soon responded (34) before Charnley (52) and Ball (63) had us thinking Ken Dodd at the Opera House or the Dave Clark Five at the Winter Gardens would have been more entertaining. I had a lift back home.

Home, where two days later newly-promoted Sunderland are the visitors. Their fortunes have not improved either. If we are ever going to win a game after seven consecutive failures this surely is the game. Despite the pouring rain 18,756 assembled. We did not have to wait long. And it was a sensational goal. It had to be because the scorer was Aitken. He sent in a long-distance free-kick which completely flummoxed McLaughlin and found its way directly into the net (3).

This gave our shuffled team Tindall – Pountney – Lee due to injuries at Blackpool new-found confidence and Sunderland barely mustered a shot. McLaughlin was out of position again when Hateley was left with a simple tap in (25). With some already aboard the Outer Circle bus Sharkey netted. (90) But wow! A win at last.

As if to celebrate our first win the Band of the Royal Warwickshire Fusiliers perform ahead of the game versus Sheffield Wednesday. But only 18,842, just a handful more than Monday night. It will take much more to get the crowds back. Park deputised for the injured Woosnam. ‘Get there early.’ Burrows – a rare header (4). Wednesday are as poor if not poorer than we are. Sidebottom is untroubled. Hateley – seven goals from nine starts – was in danger of showing we are a one-man team. Stop Hateley, stop the Villa. Something which Wednesday failed to do. Hateley, also a header, naturally (60). Nine games gone, eighteenth with six points.

Anfield next but first It’s League Cup time again and that means a trip to now-third division Luton Town. Kenilworth Road far easier to get to by car than the convoluted journey by train. Luton are teased into passing the ball around between themselves to give the 9,011 the impression that they are better than they are. Confident that in the unlikely event of them getting through the defensive wall they are likely to be offside. Park was allowed the honour of scoring the winning goal (26) but we did not threaten much after that.

A glance at the table above did not prepare us for what came next. The total destruction on a ramshackle Villa as if it had been struck by an incendiary bomb. Manager Taylor is already the object of more criticism than was ever directed at his predecessor. He decided that risking the inexperienced Park again was unwise so back comes Tindall. Conversely his opposite number Bill Shankly choose to include a teenager who had the sort of debut beyond the dreams of avarice. The first of his hat-trick coming from a header (6), But when it comes to headers there is always Hateley (11).

That was as good as it good as Liverpool had no trouble overcoming our offside tactics. Callaghan had the crowd of 38,940 willing to forget their four-goal thrashing at the hands of Everton here last Saturday. St John had them positively ecstatic as they realised here was a team far worse than themselves. Graham wrote his name into Merseyside folklore from gifts (65 & 84). The train home was not a happy place to be.

Everton at home. 23,115 – surprisingly a few more than usual. Without Woosnam and Deakin we introduced a form of pedestrian football normally only seen when ground becomes the start and finish of the annual Outer Circle Walk. Gabriel netted when Sidebottom was beaten and the ball came to him off a post (49). Followed quickly by a fierce shot by Scott (53). Pountney, playing at inside-right because somebody had to play there brought a measure of hope (63) but, allied to the current demise of steam trains huffing and puffing, was not going to get you anywhere. Eleven games, six points, twenty-first from twenty-two.

It also read 14th West Ham United as we arrived in East London. By now we had a shot shy front line totally lacking in confidence supported by an over-stretched rearguard guaranteed to make Sidebottom the man of the match. This despite being beaten by Byrne (39), Boyce (67) and Peters after the 20,703 were resigned to a mundane outcome (89).

League Cup round three and we go to opening day opponents Leeds United with expectations below the Plimsoll Line. Not that the mere 10,656 expected much of their favourites. Taylor threw the names into a hat and amazingly came up with a winning formula. Burrows at last came good (15), Sidebottom kept them out until Johanneson beat him (35). But sensing a careworn opposition Burrows set up Park (62). That was until Collins revived home spirits (68) and everyone seemed to settle for the draw which nobody really wanted. And nobody wanted it less than Hateley. There is something uniquely satisfying about a last-minute winner away from home (90).

All would be forgiven and forgotten if we could beat the Albion. As a special treat and to encourage early arrival the band of H.M. Royals Marines Plymouth will provide added entertainment. 26,091 saw the tamest of local derbies won by an almost uncelebrated goal by Howshall (71). The only blood and thunder in the game came towards the end, seen by very few, even the referee. But the linesman had witnessed Williams inflict a bloody nose on Hateley and such aggression is to be discouraged by a sending-off.

Championship contenders Manchester United are next at Old Trafford. As usual it is a case of any eleven from thirteen, such is the dearth of talent emanating from the Central League championship side. Denis Law seemed to have something to prove against the Villa after his previous sending-off. It seems strange to report that although two goals in arrears at half-time Herd (17) and Law (20) we might well have been ahead early on. Then the sky fell in as it often does in Manchester. Law (20, 51), Connolly (56), Law (63 & 89) completed an embarrassing day of utter humiliation seen by 37,233. Not helped by forty minutes spent at Crewe changing trains on the way back.