Our new training kit sponsor is El Gouna Red Sea, an Egyptian company specialising in something called sustainable communities. They’re owned by Nas’s brother so everything will be above board and within the spirit of the rules.

Chelsea are being charged by the FA for throwing a water bottle at our bench. Expect a verdict sometime in 2029, and it’ll be our fault.

Crystal Palace away, midweek, first week after the Christmas holidays. It all adds up to one of the most forgettable days of the season but again we sell out. Not that there was much to get excited about; they were there for the taking, out of form and with half a team missing but as often happens in such situations we didn’t get at them like we should have.

Ollie Watkins missed one chance at the start and another towards the end but apart from that the only talking point was Emiliano Martinez going off injured at half-time. Once again the other results largely went our way and a point is more than we usually get against this lot but it was definitely a missed opportunity. Still, we’ve got a horrible run of fixtures out of the way and done better than expected. Onwards and very definitely upwards.

We’re signing Brian Madjo, a sixteen year-old forward from Metz. He’s costing €10 million and from looking at him in action he looks about seven foot tall.

Ivory Coast have been knocked out of Afcon so Evann Guessand’s on his way back, and in one piece.

It’s that time of the year again, and again there’s the sort of turnout that makes you wonder where they’re all coming from. Unai does us the favour of a strong team including Pau Torres and there’s also the welcome site of Tyrone Mings on the bench while Spurs have a horrendous missing list, apparently. Boubacar Kamara keeps up our tradition of one in, one out by going off inured early on and no matter, because Donyell Malen lays a goal on for Emiliano Buendia then they both do the same for Morgan Rogers.

Spurs got one back to allow the narrative that the final scoreline was an all-time travesty of justice, which even a casual glance at the final half-hour shows as being a pile of shite, then at the end there’s a good old-fashioned twenty-man kick-off. We’ll get the blame for that as well. In other news Macclesfield did better than we did on Wednesday, or last time we were at Wembley for that matter.

Damian Vidagany’s words of the week: “We take for granted some wonderful things that Unai and the boys are doing. But it is really beautiful. What we provoke is good feelings in our fans and entertainment for the football lover.”

There’s a seriously strong rumour concerning the return of Tammy Abraham, which would inspire a bit of debate if nothing else.