Perry Barr Pet

Perry Barr Pet

That is why a group of us Villa men have decided to embark upon this venture. It is hoped that this will not only provide a focal point for debate, but also be a source of wit and humour for our readers.

The title of such a publication is not without much debate, but we hope that it will show to Aston Villa followers and others how it feels to be associated with the club, to celebrate the successes, whilst at the same time knowing that such is the unpredictability of the club that failure is bound to follow soon afterwards. Why, was it only last season that we suffered the indignity of only finishing second in the Football League? Such failure had better not be tolerated for long, else we will have something to say, and quick. .

But for the meantime, enjoy this first edition. We have decided that this type of publication, should the idea spread and become copied by followers of other clubs, should have a description that reflects the type of magazine that it is. Which is why we have adopted the nomenclature with which it shall be known in the future. It is for supporters, and is a publication. It shall therefore be referred to as a supportion.

I hope you enjoy reading it and who know, in a hundred years time maybe a similar journal shall still be in circulation.

A Disgrace to the City

Up To Their Tricks Again

It is with heavy heart that your correspondent reports that the vagabonds and cut-throats who congregate at games played by the Small Heath club have yet again brought shame and disgrace upon the city of Birmingham. Following their disgraceful antics at Gainsborough Trinity, where they were reported to have rampaged through the town, causing wanton damage to several gin palaces and sarsaparilla shops, we hear that the last game at their hopelessly old-fashioned and ramshackle 'ground' was marred by further scenes of mayhem. Not only were the players of Accrington Stanley threatened, but their supporters, upon returning to their transport, found their charabanc windows broken and that their horses had been put in a state of terror. Surely enough is enough. It is about time that this club were taken to task. Although I feel that matters are not helped by the owners of the club, Jeremiah Sullivan and his two business associates, Ebeneezer and Aristotle Gold, rascals from the rougher areas of London. Such men are reputed to have - made their fortunes in the lower forms of entertainment, vaudevillian theatres, music halls and the proclivity of amusements for the undiscerning gentleman. As for the young lady who is in their employ, I have my doubts as to her suitability. Surely no lady would ever entertain the idea of being in the employ of such rogues.

A stiff fine should be levied on the club, and if this does not do the trick then their ground should be closed.

In its place they should be forced to play somewhere time maybe a similar journal shall still more suited. There is a derelict patch of land in Bordesley Green, between Garrison Lane and Tilton Road, that is unfit for human habitation. This area has degenerated so much that I can see no way in which civilised people could ever congregate there and the sort of people who follow the Small Heath club would be perfectly suited to this area. At present a group of gypsies threaten anyone approaching them with curse, but this could be easily dealt with. After all, how long could a football club, even one as seemingly hopeless as Small Heath, go without winning a trophy? In a hundred years time I feel sure that they will have won the Football League or the FA Cup at least once. This, I feel, is not too much to ask.

And as for their supporters, I feel that the reintroduction of transportation to van Diemen's land is the only language that these ne'erdowells will understand. If they must feel it necessary to attend games played by the Small Heath club, then surely it is not too much to ask that sufficient constables be in attendance. Say a thousand, and each man armed with a cat o' nine tails.

Lack of Ambition.

Mr McGregor Castigated

It really is time that we began to call into question the extent of the ambitions of those who would profess to run Aston Villa. It was all very well that Mr William McGregor should be instrumental in the setting up of the Football League in order that our club should be seen by all to be the finest in England, but is this the limit of the man's ambitions? Surely by now he and his colleagues should have instituted some form of British league, and even extended their boundaries further. Johnny Foreigner might not be up to much at the moment, and the colonies even worse, but the time will come when they will be able to muster eleven decent fellows from the rest of the world that will be able to give our own Villa men a stern test before succumbing to their inevitable thrashing. And when this happens, it might be possible that there will be another club who will have some fanciful notion to laying claim to the title of the Greatest Club in the World. Indeed, I have it upon good authority that there are a group of railway workers up in Newton Heath with ideas above their station (If you will excuse the witticism there.).

I feel that we have to form some sort of international competition to prove once and for all that Aston Villa are more than a match for anyone. Even if it does mean we might have to share a football field with a load of dagoes, frogs, colonials and other sorts that make the blood run cold. Still, these sacrifices must be made for the good of the club.

Our New Home

A Critic is Against

I see that plans are afoot to move the home of the Perry Barr Pets to the Aston Lower Grounds. And may I say, what an absolutely ridiculous idea it is. No good will come of it, you mark my words. Perry Barr is renown throughout football as the home of Aston Villa. To move the ground is an act of sheer folly, to say nothing of destroying almost two decades of tradition.

After all, what is there at the Lower Grounds with which to identify? Trinity Road, Witton Lane, Aston Hall and the Holte Hotel, a low drinking dive. Can you imagine in your wildest dreams how it will be possible to have a worthwhile area in which to watch the game and call it by as ridiculous a name as the Holte End? The only thing which I can think of to rival such a move for sheer stupidity would be to name the grandstand after the chairman of the club. No, I say. Remain at Perry Barr, and if change must come then let it be the rest of the world that changes and not us.

New Blood Required

Life-long Villa Man Proposed

I must appeal that I fear for the future of Aston Villa, and call upon the Committee to elect fresh blood onto their august body. There is a man who has a thriving business concern in the North of England and would fit the bill perfectly. This man, who I believe is named Ellis, has made a considerable fortune in purveying railway excursions to summer outings, and despite his upbringing in the Liverpool area has long since pledged his life-long allegiance to the Aston Villa club. Bring him on board I say, and I am sure that he will be able to utilise his shrewd financial brain for the good of the club. And I further believe that the fellow is such a modest man that there will be no worries about him overshadowing the rest of the committee. From what I have been told, this fellow likes nothing more than to be surrounded by men who know their own minds and who will not resort to flattery.

Rampant Commercialism

Ruination of the Game Prophesied

Ye Gods, just how low can this club stoop in order to take the last penny from its supporters? Not content with charging admission to the game, they are now establishing something called a commercial department, in which to make available goods which I bear the claret and blue colours. Mufflers, top hats, spats, all are to be sold from a kiosk at the new Aston ground upon payment of an undoubtedly large sum of money. It is claimed that the purchase of such goods will enable improvements to be made to the ground and new players to be purchased. As if there were not enough money in football as it is. I can foresee the day when the transfer fee of a single player will be as high as a thousand pounds, and that such stupidity will be the end of the game as we know it. And what next to finance such wanton extravagance? No doubt the club will be selling replicas of the very jerseys the players wear.

Enough of this stupidity, I say. Let us get back to the days of the Corinthian spirit, when players were proud to don the famous claret and blue for the sheer love of the game.

Fears For The Future

Foreign Mercenaries Blamed

I am very worried about the influx of highly paid foreigners coming into the game. Even as I speak there are many footballers flooding over the border from Scotland, seeking the riches that entail from playing football in England. You may call me a reactionary, but I feel that these men have no feeling whatsoever for the game in England and are only here in order to make money out of us before embarking elsewhere in their search for riches

I am afeared to say that Aston Villa are one of the worst offenders in this practice, and I feel this to be the fault of George Ramsay. After all, he is of Caledonian extraction himself and I believe that in his wish to surround himself with his countrymen he is ruining our team. Such selection policies will lead to the ruination of Aston Villa and I do not believe that Mr Ramsay should remain in charge of team selection a minute longer.

They may make football a glamorous game, with their exotic names and flashy ball playing skills, but give me the honest endeavours of the stout Englishman every time. These men are keeping our own home grown players out of the Villa team and I feel that this can only be to the detriment of the club. If things continue along this path then it will, I feel, only be a matter of time until we are 'treated' to the spectacle of Frenchmen playing in what is, I would remind everyone the English Football League. The consequences of such a move would, I fear, be to ghastly to contemplate. We all know the Gallic temperament, and I fear for what such people could do to our national game. After all, they are a volatile race, and even the slightest criticism could send a Frenchman into paroxysms of anger, with dire consequences for player and spectator alike.

International Tournament Proposed.

Put Johnny Foreigner In His Place

Further to that which has been written elsewhere, I also believe it to be only a matter of time before we are forced to play a team from another part of the world in order to prove ourselves undisputedly the best footballing side in the world. I understand that there may be a team in the Bavarian city of Munich who also have pretensions to this proud title and I feel it inevitable that eventually our paths will cross so that one or the other will be declared to be the champion side of Europe.

Let the encounter take place sooner rather than later, so the matter may be settled to the satisfaction of all. A good, sporting encounter with the foreign horde soundly thrashed. This has made our country great, and Aston Villa have to play their part.

Price Rise Outrage.

Profiteering Landlords Condemned.

Yet again your correspondent has seen fit to rail against the outrageous way in which local businessmen take advantage of the popularity of Aston Villa.

In the past, it has been noted that the tram companies raise their prices whenever they are conveying passengers to football matches, and now I find that similar actions are being taken by the landlords of hostelries in the Perry Barr area. Only last week I was charged the outrageous price of threepence a pint while celebrating the Villa's victory over Darwen in the Crown & Cushion, a rise of a halfpenny on the previous night. When I asked the barman why such a price was being charged, he informed me that it was on the instruction of the landlord, who said that this was to pay for the additional cost of extra staff on matchdays. I feel that we must protest at such an outrage, otherwise who knows what might occur in the future. There are several similar establishments near to the new ground, and they may encourage similar judgements, They may even force supporters to pay admission fees to gain access to their premises, or even insist upon a certain dress code, as I believe is now becoming the case in the city centre. This disgraceful behaviour must be stopped.

And what is worse, I believe that strict action must be taken to stamp out the practice of a number of young ruffians at the ground. These urchins are in the habit of accosting visitors to the ground, and enquiring if they can 'mind' said visitors modes of transport. A refusal has been known to lead to damage of the vehicle and in one case of injury even to the visitor's horse itself Again, such behaviour must be discouraged. The police should be patrol the area on matchdays and administer summary justice. A clip around the ear from a firm but fair British bobby, particularly if it was from a whip, would, I am sure, bring an end to such behaviour.

If you would like to contribute to the next edition of this journal, please feel free to do so. You can hand your writing to any of the editors, who are always to he found in the Crown & Cushion on matchdays, usually moaning about how the old days were so much better than current times.

Issue 1 of the Perry Barr Pet given away free with issue 52